


his anchor

by storiesbysonny



Series: we don’t have to talk to click [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Canon Compliant, Comfort/Angst, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Lee Jeno Needs a Hug, M/M, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Sad Lee Jeno, Sleepy Cuddles, Soft Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:00:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26961031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesbysonny/pseuds/storiesbysonny
Summary: Jeno is having a hard time. Jaemin just wants to make it easier.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Series: we don’t have to talk to click [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1846765
Comments: 6
Kudos: 166





	his anchor

**Author's Note:**

> This series is meant to be platonic relationships, but the relationship between Jeno and Jaemin in this piece can be interpreted as more. Honestly, I feel like the relationship between these two IRL is so beautiful, but I don't think I can even scratch the surface or even convey it properly in any fic. 
> 
> Honestly, I find comfort in the fact that they have each other.
> 
> Also, the end gets super super cheesy. Sorry, not sorry.

The launch date for the NCT 2020 project is getting closer and closer. Because of it, the members are getting busier and busier with filming promotional videos and track videos along with photoshoots and strenuous dance practices. It’s all very chaotic, but everyone is excited.

They’re all ecstatic to promote with NCT members that they haven’t had the opportunity to perform with before. And while yes, Jeno is happy and excited for it all too, he still finds himself missing interactions with the Dream members because they’re the people he has always promoted with, who he grew up with; they provide him with that certain sense of familiarity.

But more than anything, he finds himself missing someone _very_ particular. Don’t get him wrong. Jeno loves all his members, but he really _really_ misses the comfort of having Jaemin by his side. He’s used to looking across the room and being able to catch his gaze and exchange a soft smile. That small exchange always seems to ground him, but he can’t do that as of late. 

Yes, they still live in the same dorm, so they see each other, but it’s always in passing. Or for only short periods of time. Jeno has always found a certain comfort in subtle affection with his fellow Dream members to keep him present throughout the day. He finds it hard to seek out affection and show that type of vulnerability to those with who he isn’t extremely close with. That’s not to say he’s not comfortable with other members. It’s just he’s closer with his fellow Dream members, which is understandable since they’ve been together so long.

However, Jaemin, his closest friend, who has been with him from the very start, provides him with an indescribable level of comfort that he can’t find with any other member. He and Jaemin have always understood each other on a different level. Jaemin in a way is like his security blanket that covers him with feelings of familiarity and safety. 

Oftentimes, they can grasp what the other wants to say or needs without having to verbalize it. Jaemin always seems to find Jeno’s hand when he senses that Jeno may need an anchor to keep him grounded in unfamiliar or chaotic situations. Naturally, Jeno always sort of gravitates into Jaemin’s orbit when he’s feeling anxious because he's used to him being his constant.

Sometimes just feeling the warmth of the other beside him brings him a deep sense of comfort.

Jaemin likes to joke and say Jeno sees him as his attachment doll. And in a way, Jeno guesses that statement is true. Not that he would ever willingly admit it, but he doesn’t really need to either. It’s just one of those unspoken yet undoubted things between him and Jaemin.

So with everything going on, Jeno finds himself desperately missing his best friend even though they see each other every night before they inevitably crash from exhaustion. However, something shifts within him, maybe he's feeling too much at once or maybe he’s just being overdramatic, but Jeno feels almost touch-starved for Jaemin's touch - which sounds crazy, even in his own head because, really, Jaemin literally sent him off with a hug just that morning.

But the hustle and bustle of the day are looming over him. The weight is on the verge of crushing him and he feels like he might just drown under the weight of it all. And the only thing he can think of is _Jaemin, Jaemin, Jaemin_. And all the things that Jaemin encompasses - _home, warmth, an anchor_. He has a deep sense of yearning for the presence of his best friend.

♡̷̷

Jeno has wrapped up filming a video that followed a grueling dance practice when the yearning for touch, for a reprieve, for Jaemin truly settles over him. When the van pulls up outside the dorms, he makes sure to thank his manager before he trudges his way up to their dorm. He isn’t really expecting anyone to be awake in their dorms at this time of night. So he’s truly startled when he finds Jaemin sitting in the living room on the couch. Like he was waiting for him. Like he subconsciously knew Jeno needed him and decided to wait for him. 

Jeno must’ve unknowingly let out a surprised noise to alert the other of his presence because Jaemin looks up from his cellphone with a stunned expression. However, his expression quickly shifts into something more gentle, his lips settle into a soft smile. It’s that smile that Jaemin reserves for those closest to him, and the smile alone sends a spark of warmth through Jeno’s tired body. It’s the exact kind of warmth he’s been yearning for that only Jaemin can satiate.

That simple yet familiar smile is already knocking at the walls of armor that Jeno has unconsciously built up around his heart over the past week.

“Hi,” Jaemin says softly, a tender smile still adorning his face. “Why are you still standing over there, silly? Come sit with me,” he urges with that soft look in his eyes as he pats the space beside him on the couch.

Jeno slowly makes his way over to the couch, keeping his gaze locked with Jaemin’s. And Jaemin is looking right back at him with his attentive eyes - that always seems to see right through to the core of Jeno. Jaemin’s soft gaze feels like the only thing keeping him afloat after his hectic day.

The minute he sits on the couch, something immediately doesn’t feel right. He doesn’t feel close enough, and there’s too much space between them. It’s not enough for him, and yet it’s too much simultaneously. 

Despite being on the same couch, the space between them feels like a universe apart from Jaemin at that very moment. Jeno can’t grasp why he’s having difficulty reaching out for his best friend as he wants to. But here, Jaemin is right beside him, and he can’t seem to close the space between them.

Jaemin softly tuts. He seems to sense his inner turmoil, (because really he's _always_ been skilled in reading Jeno) so he’s quickly pulling Jeno’s legs into his lap and tugging him closer. “You’re too far, Jen.” When the silence lingers after that, Jaemin speaks again in a soft tone. “Wanna tell me about your day?” He tries as his hands comfortingly stroke Jeno’s calves that are in his lap.

Jaemin’s treading lightly around his delicate mood, and Jeno appreciates it. Jeno feels extremely fragile after the kind of day he has had that only piled onto the kind of week he's had, and he knows Jaemin can tell too.

They both are balancing on the edge. They're dancing on a fine line, and it’s only a matter of time before one of them crosses it.

They are holding each other’s gaze, and Jaemin can practically see the storm wreaking havoc in Jeno’s mind in his eyes. He wants to provide shelter from all the bad emotions trying to drag him down for Jeno, but that’s only if Jeno is willing to let him. And if he’s ready to open up, even just an inch for him. 

Jeno’s edging closer and closer to Jaemin’s shelter. But he’s still hesitant. Eventually, he must see something in Jaemin’s eyes. He must see Jaemin carefully tapping at his walls. Because —

After a long silence, Jeno shakes his head dejectedly in response to Jaemin’s question.

_Okay, good. That’s a step._ That's the inch he was looking for; Jaemin now just has to tread a little further into Jeno's manmade fortress. 

Jaemin hums knowingly. He knows how mentally taxing it is for Jeno to even nod given the emotional turmoil he has let fester. Jaemin knows it'll take some more coaxing, but he's willing to do the work. _Always_ willing for Jeno. 

“It’s okay, Jen. You don’t have to talk. That’s okay.” He carefully removes Jeno’s legs from his lap, which earns him a distressed whine from the other before he gently shushes him. Jaemin crouches down on the floor in front of Jeno and tries to meet his gaze, but Jeno is pointedly trying to avoid it. Jaemin gathers the other’s hands between his own. 

“Jeno,” he quietly calls for his attention. “Look at me, please. It’s okay.”

Jeno finally looks into Jaemin’s eyes; Jaemin immediately notices the way Jeno’s eyes glisten with unshed tears. And it breaks Jaemin’s heart. He hates when those closest to him are hurting. It absolutely breaks his heart to see his best friend in such a saddened state. When Jeno's hurting, a part of him is hurting too. He’s determined to do everything he can to rebuild the broken bits of Jeno, piece by piece.

“Oh, Jeno,” he coos as he hurriedly stands up and pulls the other into an embrace. Jeno buries his face into the material of his t-shirt, and Jaemin holds him tightly, stroking his hand comfortingly along his back. And that’s when the dam finally breaks. Jaemin feels the tears soak through the fabric of his shirt as Jeno silently cries into his chest. 

Jaemin carefully cradles the back of Jeno’s head with one of his hands while the other continues to stroke his back. He gently rocks them from side to side as he whispers reassurances into the air between them. “It’s okay, bub, let it all out,” he soothes. Jeno whines in frustration. He hates that he’s cracked under pressure. He is supposed to be strong.

Almost as if Jaemin can hear his self-deprecating thoughts, he softly shushes him before he can spiral into worse thoughts.

“It’s okay,” he reassures him again. “You don’t have to be strong all the time, Jen. Let it all out.” And truly, Jaemin has always been perfect at saying exactly what Jeno needs to hear to calm the raging storm in his heart. He tightly clutches the back of Jaemin’s shirt before he finally allows himself to completely let out all the pent up emotions, and he begins to sob thoroughly.

He fully sags his weight against Jaemin with confidence in his heart that Jaemin will always, _always_ catch him. Jaemin has always been his anchor, and for that, he will always be appreciative.

Jaemin feels when Jeno fully relaxes in his arms, and he’s so, _so_ proud of Jeno for letting down his walls for him. He feels honored to be one of the few people that his incredibly strong and reticent friend fully trusts to see his vulnerability. He pulls his friend even closer into his embrace. “That’s it,” he whispers into the crown of Jeno’s hair as he leans down to leave a kiss there.

“Thank you,” Jaemin whispers. _Thank you for letting me in._ And he knows Jeno gets it without him explicitly saying it.

♡̷̷

By the time Jeno has completely finished crying, he is truly and utterly exhausted. But it’s a good kind of exhaustion. He doesn’t feel the heaviness in his chest that he’s been carrying all week. It’s all been replaced and replenished with warmth. It’s an encapsulating warmth that started from his heart and spreads all the way down to the tips of his fingers and toes. The warmth has wrapped him up in a blanket of serenity that leaves him feeling fuzzy and floaty. 

This kind of warmth can only come from being understood and being loved wholeheartedly.

_This warmth can only come from being loved by Na Jaemin._

And he can’t help the subconscious smile that turns up the corners of his lips at the warm feeling in his chest. He finds Jaemin looking back at him with a smile just as soft - with that constant sparkle in his eyes that carries the moon and all the stars. Jeno can’t help but reach out a hand to touch Jaemin’s cheek, just to make sure he's actually there and not just a figment of his imagination. He sometimes still can’t believe he’s real. He often asks himself: How did he get so lucky to have Na Jaemin in his life?

Jaemin takes Jeno’s hand from his cheek and holds it in his own before leaving a kiss to the back of it. Jeno is looking at him with this dazed look in his eyes, so he can't help the airy chuckle that escapes from his lips - still incredibly soft and quiet, trying to maintain the gentleness of the atmosphere surrounding them. “What’s going on in that little head of yours, hm?” He asks as he eases his fingers through Jeno’s hair.

The question seems to finally pull Jeno out of his clouded thoughts. And in true Jeno fashion, he lets out one of his cute confused noises. Jaemin thinks, not for the first time, that he might actually combust from how adorable Jeno is.

“Bub, are you sleepy?” He asks as he continues to play with Jeno’s hair. At some point, after the crying stopped, Jaemin had guided a soft and docile Jeno to the bathroom where he helped Jeno wash his face and brush his teeth. He then carefully helped Jeno dress into some oversized pajamas before Jeno eagerly burrowed himself into Jaemin’s bed, where they are now.

Jeno makes a noise that sounds an awful lot like a purr when Jaemin's fingers reach a spot behind his ear. Jaemin giggles. “That's a definite yes. Let's sleep then. What do you say?” He asks, not really expecting an answer, more so just saying it to placate the other. He reaches over to his bedside table to turn off his lamp before settling down and pulling a pliant Jeno to lay on his chest.

Jeno snuggles impossibly closer with his head resting just above Jaemin’s heart before clasping the fabric of Jaemin’s sleep shirt in his hand. The steady _thump thump_ of Jaemin’s heartbeat next to his ear is like a lighthouse across in the horizon guiding him to safety. Jaemin’s arms wrap around him, and he feels so safe. He’s warm and safe in this fortress that Jaemin has built around them.

They're both now safe in the walls of Jeno’s heart.

Jaemin carefully broke down those walls that Jeno had so meticulously built piece by piece, just to build them back up with both of them inside; the pieces of the walls now interwoven with bits and pieces of Jaemin’s heart and care.

He’s not alone in these four walls anymore.

It’s the two of them.

Jeno and Jaemin.

Jaemin and Jeno.

The steady rhythm of Jaemin’s heart lulls Jeno closer and closer to unconsciousness.

Just as he’s about to drift off, he hears and feels Jaemin whisper against his ear: “I love you.”

And those three words become anchored in Jeno’s heart. Jaemin has _always_ been _his anchor_ keeping him grounded so he doesn't go astray _._

  
  


♡̷̷

**Author's Note:**

> I wish I could truly convey the relationship between Jaemin and Jeno, but I don't think I did them justice in this. They're so sweet and caring and considerate of each other and I just- [cries].
> 
>   
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